Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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