how can u be prego again
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
