Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
