I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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