that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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