garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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