I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
