i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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