I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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