that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
