I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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