Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
