i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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