No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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