No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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