I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
