You're completely useless in the revolution.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
