i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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