will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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