im about as happy as oj after his trial
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize