5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
