Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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