If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
