if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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