Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My balls are so social today.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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