there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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