She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
