He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
