Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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