I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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