he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
