I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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