i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize