Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
