i think my mom watched the whole time
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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