All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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