I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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