You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
