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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....

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• (310): View more from California

  He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again

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• (646): View more from New York

  I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut

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• (207): View more from Maine

  you left your anal beads in the dishwasher

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  he's literally satan but yeah probably

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor

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