I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
