:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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