Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
