Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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