u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
