Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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