I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
