my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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