Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I AM VODKA MAN
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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