Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
