I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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