I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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