between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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