I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
