i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Say something about gay babies.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
