At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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