i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize