Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
