So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
