apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
