so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
