Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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