party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize