i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
